It’s Okay to Live: Finding Purpose After Loss | Tanya Cummings DJ Ms Tan

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It’s I never planned to create a movement around grief. I was simply a mother who lost her son.

Like so many people who experience loss, I had to figure out how to keep moving forward while carrying something I never imagined I would have to carry.

Grief changes you. It changes the way you see life, relationships, celebrations, and even yourself. And for a long time, I thought grief was simply something I had to learn to live with.

Then one day, something happened that changed the direction of my life.

The Conversation That Changed Everything

I was getting my glasses when I met a woman who was having a difficult day. As we talked, I learned that she had lost her son too.

She was planning a celebration in his honor, but people had criticized her for it. They questioned why she wanted to have such an elaborate celebration after he had died.

I understood her in a way that didn't require many words.

I looked at her and said:

“I understand. I lost my son too. And it’s okay to live.”

That moment stayed with me.

It wasn't a speech. It wasn't something I had planned to say. It was simply one grieving mother recognizing another grieving mother and giving her permission to be human.

That was the moment #itsok2live was born.

What Does It Mean to Live After Loss?

For me, #itsok2live doesn't mean forgetting.

It doesn't mean that the person you lost suddenly matters less.

It doesn't mean you stop missing them.

And it certainly doesn't mean that grief disappears.

It means understanding that grief and living can exist at the same time.

You can miss someone and still laugh.

You can cry and still dance.

You can remember someone and still celebrate.

You can have a good day without feeling guilty for having it.

You can love someone who is no longer here and still make room for the life that remains.

Sometimes people think that moving forward means moving on. I don't believe that.

I believe we learn how to carry our loss differently.

Finding Purpose in the Pain

I eventually realized that my experience with grief could become something bigger than my own story.

That realization led me to become a Certified Life Skills Coach and to continue developing my work around healing, resilience, purpose, and connection.

My professional journey has also taken me through technology, fintech, corporate training, broadcasting, entertainment, media, and community work.

At first glance, those chapters might seem unrelated.

But looking back, I see the connection.

Every chapter taught me how to communicate, connect with people, adapt, lead, listen, and use my voice.

Those experiences prepared me for the work I do today.

You Are Allowed to Keep Living

One of the hardest lessons grief teaches us is that life continues—even when we aren't ready for it to.

There are birthdays.

Holidays.

Music.

Laughter.

New relationships.

New opportunities.

Moments when you suddenly realize you are enjoying yourself again.

And sometimes, that joy can come with guilt.

But I want people who are grieving to know something:

You don't have to earn the right to live again.

You don't have to apologize for smiling.

You don't have to feel guilty because you had a good day.

You don't have to stop loving the person you lost in order to love the life you still have.

Living doesn't erase your loss.

Sometimes, living becomes part of how you honor it.

Why I Created #itsok2live

#itsok2live is my reminder that there is still life after loss.

It is a reminder that we are more than the worst thing that has happened to us.

It is a reminder that healing doesn't have to look perfect.

And it is a reminder that sometimes surviving isn't the end of the story.

Sometimes, surviving is where the story begins.

I don't know what you've lost.

Maybe you've lost a child, a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a friend, a relationship, a career, or a version of yourself you thought you'd never have to leave behind.

Maybe you're still trying to figure out what life is supposed to look like now.

I don't have all the answers.

But I do know this:

You are allowed to keep living.

You are allowed to find joy again.

You are allowed to laugh.

You are allowed to love.

You are allowed to dream.

You are allowed to become someone new without forgetting who you were.

Because remembering someone doesn't require you to stop living.

And sometimes the greatest tribute we can give to the people we love is to continue living a life filled with meaning.

It’s okay to live.

And I will keep saying it until someone who needs to hear it believes it too.

It’s Okay to Live: Finding Purpose After Loss | Tanya Cummings DJ Ms Tan 
— Tanya Cummings
Founder, #itsok2live
Certified Life Skills Coach | Media Personality | Speaker | DJ to live.

And I will keep saying it until someone who needs to hear it believes it too.

— Tanya Cummings
Founder, #itsok2live
Certified Life Skills Coach | Media Personality | Speaker | DJ